Everyone's been to a grocery store at least once. Unless you live in some freaky unpopulated area, chances are you are not the only one shopping in the grocery store. One cannot help but notice that every one of these shoppers are different... But are they really different? I like to think not, and seeing as how I work in a grocery store, I would like to think I have a fairly good idea. I prefer to think that the people I see pass by my department every day fall into one of these many categories:
The In-and-Out:
This shopper walks into the store with cool determination. He/she knows already every item that he/she will pick up. They rarely will grab a basket and tend to hold their few items in their arms. Although their main goal is speed- they will not linger- they do not hesitate to wait in line for things like deli meats or bakery items, despite the fact that it will slow them down. They can be recognised as decisive and confident.
The Speedster:
Not to be confused with the in-and-out, this shopper's main goal is to break record speeds. They are often grumpy as any minute they spend in the store is one minute too many. Despite the bad moods, these customers are one of my favourites, as they rarely have the patience to wait in lines at the deli counters or cash registers. They are often seen speed walking through the aisles, and can sometimes have a basket. Should you ever spot a full basket of food items abandoned near the cash, you can be sure it was left by a Speedster, too much in a hurry to wait more than two minutes in line.
The Vampire:
These shoppers are mostly nocturnal, coming into the store near closing. In stores where most departments close earlier than the actual store, they can be found lingering near the deli or butcher counter, often shocked when they realised that they are too late to get fresh deli meats of fish products. They are the customers that will most need gentle prodding at closing time to get them out of the store. When I used to be a cashier, I most despised these shoppers because I had to wait on them at the end of the day.
The Lonely Wolf:
The easiest way to recognise this grouping of shoppers is by their age, as they do tend to be of an older age group. They are always shopping alone, and spend the majority of their time talking to whoever will listen, though mostly employees. They also tend to regulars, and enjoy the recognition they get when they walk into the store. "Hi Bob! And how are you today?"
The Sure Minded:
These shoppers know just what they want. They cannot be described by age, amount of items, or anything along those lines, as these people are quite unique. They walk into the store, often with a list in hand, and will not leave the store until they have every item that they need, down to the brand name.
The Switcheroos:
These people are the complete opposite of decisive. They start out their shopping trip without a basket, but can be found returning to the front of the store for one. They will spend much time returning to a certain aisle to exchange or get rid of a product picked up earlier on in their adventure.
The Thieves:
This category deserves subcategories, and If you read on, you will understand why:
The good thieves: Despite the fact that thieves are morally wrong, these people are CLEVER. It makes me a little jealous. These thieves walk into the store with confidence, pick up the items they intend to eat, settle themselves at the table and chairs placed somewhere in the store and eat the unpaid for food. They can be see cleverly waving to the general manager as if they were regulars, and then will calmly leave the store after having filled their stomach.
The Bad Thieves:
Enough said. They rarely leave the store with their unpaid-for food.
If you think hard enough, you will realise that you too fall into one of these categories. I don't really care which one you do fall in, just stay away from my department, cuz we got enough shit to do in a day without your business.
